SHARK WEEK starts this Sunday, July 27th, and runs through Aug. 2. I know this because I sharked myself.

I will totally be giving my DVR a supreme workout.

I don’t really look like a shark, do I?

I’ve been wanting a sweet lunchbox for awhile. Back in the day, I had a pretty kickin’ Jurassic Park one. Third grade to be exact. It had the scene on it when the T-Rex tries to eat the little kids in the truck. Ok, not so cool looking back, but at the time it was so Pop-Culturally relevant! And I was only fucking seven, so go easy on me!

(You may see this lunchbox here: but only for 5 more days…until the Ebay auction runs out. It wouldn’t let me steal the pic.)

In an interview for EW, Seth Green said that he had a G.I. Joe lunchbox. Cool. AND, he added, he had the THERMOS too! Cooler.

Because I wish I still had my Jurassic Park box (it gave me many long years and many delicious lunches…it was very good to me),  I want a new lunchbox. One that goes above and beyond the call of duty.  One that will be a great friend when times are tough.

I’m a huge fan of this Serenity one:

Pros: It’s the best part of the film Serenity EVER. Cons: Colors are somewhat girly, and I couldn’t decide between this one….aaaaand THIS ONE:

To buy both would totally condescend my quest for the PERFECT lunchbox. Buying both would be a selfish feat. Also, I’m not necessarily married to Serenity while on said lunchbox quest…and I also don’t want to rush a work of art.

I don’t really know what to do here, folks. In a perfect world, I could nab something vintage like:

But collector’s items are friggin’ pricey nowadays! And this one here is located in Canada (hey! those shipping prices are outrageous!).

Which route do I go? Follow my Serenity instincts? Search for Optimus Prime? Try to summon my inner Michelangelo?

I just don’t know what to do. Ideas are needed and suggestions, always welcome.

This is totally worth a cackle.

A commenter on this videogum entry writes:

“ps - jason didn’t kill anybody in the first one. oh and he didn’t look like an american apparel model wearing a hockey mask either.”

HAHAHAHAHA now that’s killer material…pun intended.

Though to paraphrase the thoughts of many IMDBers, why continue to fight the remakes? Yes. It’s both bogus and sad that Horror remakes are getting out of control, but hey, what ISNT a remake nowadays? At least it’ll be good for a few laughs…

For a HI-RES photo of the pic above…click here.

Last night, Linkin Park and friends brought their “revolution” to Hartford, CT, and I must admit: It was somewhat underwelming.

After a public tailgating ban (a bash of the city of Hartford and the Dodge Center to follow…”) and a few hours of drinking, I stumbled inside to check out Atreyu, playing on the Revolution Stage. Though I’ve seen them twice and thought they were a solid act (even for the third time…), none of their performances have ever struck me enough to go to the store and buy a record. It was rockin’, cuz I was drunk…but I’ve never dropped money intentionally with hopes of seeing/hearing them. All 3 shows were accidental run-ins…for seeing them three times, and receiving 0 funds or interest from me…they’re clearly doing something wrong.

I was dying to see The Bravery, but the arena setting totally squashed the magic that was supposed to happen. I missed out on an earlier Hartford gig at The Webster, and I still regret not getting there…but their set was very disappointing and dare I say, dull.

But wait…just when all was lost…BUSTA BUST would come and tear it up.  Right? …

Right?!?!

It’s not that Busta was bad, but these “medleys” that artists do for the Grammys and like performances are totally bogus. Busta got on-stage for like 25 minutes and spewed…something…and only did Woo Haa for like 10 seconds….and it was just boring. We were bouncing around and having fun, but we quickly grew less and less interested as the short set continued. I would totally check out a Busta Rhymes show, though. That’d be sweet.

Cornell: Not for me. Everything he does sounds the same. It’s not even worth discussion.

Linkin Park. Entirely fun and entirely excellent. I couldn’t believe that a band as “mainstream” as Linkin Park could make a show feel so unique. They came. They saw. They conquered. The dead-all-day crowd was finally awoken with the Linkin Spark (haha, get it?) as the band tore through a set that was extremely inclusive of all 3 of their records.

On a Linkin Park high and feeling like I was 16 again, I had to wonder: Though Linkin Park saved the day, was this really what we’re tagging as “revolutionary”. It’s sad that I’m not old enough to have seen Zeppelin, The Doors, The Beatles, Journey (just kidding…though I am seeing them in August at a GOAT. SHOW.)  When will Rock ‘N Roll experience that 1 band that will start the next rock revolution?

While reading this book, the answer was clear:

Guns N Roses. REUNION TOURRR.

Ok, it’ll never happen. But think: What if it did? Riots, broken cop cars, drugs, fires, insane mobs, more drugs. The sky would absolutely be the limit. Seeing Velvet Revolver last August was quite a treat, but it would’ve been even more memorable had it have been GNR with its prime line-up.

With the rock scene at such a lull, reading the GNR history in the words of Slash might just be as close as I’ll get to seeing what it was really like to witness a true Rock and Roll band in my lifetime.  I took some time to enjoy the fantasy about it would be like if Slash, Izzy, and Axl did bury the hatchet start anew.

I imagine it would truly and defiantly start a real, post-modern rock revolution.

…but I didn’t. Oops.

The Littlest Winslow…everyone’s favorite slacker blog that rarely updates and still expects you to read my ramblings.  Ahhhh….

Anyhow: HOW RAD IS IT!?!?! Way rad. “The Greatest Man That Ever Lived” is possibly The Greatest Weez Song That Ever Lived.

And “Dreaming” has the crazy breakdown in the middle followed by the: “I don’t want to get with your program!” Fantastic. And don’t even get me goin’ on “Pork and Beans”. Months later and its STILL my favorite song of the now.

I only beg this of thee, almighty Weez: Where are the tour dates, yo?

I love when I get to gloat.

Number 3.

BAM!

3. BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
Believe it or not, kids, before Lost, Emmy didn’t always understand shows with fanciful premises. —Alynda Wheat

FUCKKKKKKYOUUUUUUBITCHEZZZZZZZZZZZZ  –I–

Thats my middle finger to the Emmys.

or maybe its this:  nIn

I can’t type it right…but know that I’m trying to!

Is he really blogging about Buffalo?

Well, it’s the sauce, not the city.

And yes, yes he is.

I love music, movies, and TV…but I also love food. So why the hell not. If The Burrito Blog can do it, so can I.

After a friend started working at Subway HQ, we had been getting some prime intel on a new sandwich…THE BUFFALO CHICKEN SANDWICH.

We, as a group, are quite the buffalo enthusiasts. Wings, salads, soups, chicken…ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. We (I..) even put Frank’s Red Hot on my eggs. So I was quite interesting in testing out Subway’s brand new Buffalo wonder.

I got it without the Ranch sauce, cuz Ranch sketches me out a little. I’m more of a blue cheese guy. So to test the sandwich in its purest element, I ate half as is…no ranch, no extra anything…just as I purchased it.  It was ok…your standard subway chicken sub but with a little hot sauce on it.  5 out of 10.

For the second half…i added more Frank’s and ate it with Blue Cheese. After these additive measures were taken, Subway’s Buffalo Chicken Sub increased 1.5 points to a 6.5 out of 10. A solid choice, though not my favorite. (Note: Subway’s bread is NOT good for dipping. Put your added sauces directly inside the sandwich for better results!)

Maybe it’s because I’m too into Buffalo or because my taste buds have already been burned to oblivion, but like Jim Carrey’s Fletcher Reede (Liar Liar): “I’ve had better.”

Though a tad embarrassing, I must admit that I’ve been sucked back into Big Brother for the first time since Season 2. And now, I am a Big Sucker.

Though Reality television is never noble (both for those involved and for the viewers), it’s always deliciously entertaining. In just the first week, we saw Jerry take the first HoH, Brian make an alliance with almost everybody in the friggin’ house, and then the ENTIRE house turn on Brian, put him up for eviction, and boot his ass out!  And this was JUST week one!

Reality TV always seems to deliver. Partly because the casts are such train wrecks and partly because the editing process will make it entertaining even if it isn’t. However, Big Brother is just addicting as hell. I’m not about to dethrone Survivor (the best Reality show everrrrrr, even better than The Real World), but expect updates and conversation throughout the summer re: my new guilty pleasure.

And oh yeah…I blame Curtis for getting me addicted again. And you better keep your end of the bargain!

And oh yeah:

1. I hope Jerry wins.

2. I hope Jessie gets evicted ASAP. (Did he have to win the Head of Household competition? ugh)

Please God, don’t let it be true…

Apparently, I was oblivious until someone at Vevmo started a thread about it, but the Weinsteins are gung-ho about re-booting the Scream franchise….except there’s no word on who will come back to the series. Can this be done without the creative genious duo of Wes Craven and Kevin Williamson. I mean…we all saw how THREE turned out. Why then would we venture out to further destroy and alienate the story and its fans?

And let’s not even talk about the money it’ll take to get all 3 of the major players: Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox-Arquette and David Arquette.  And honestly…if one of their characters would :::gasp::: be brutally murdered in a cheap, rushed, thrown together HACK of a sequel….a part of me would DIE inside. Just DIE.

So there aren’t any confirmed details…but a green light has been given. If it sees the light of day, I’ll totally be there opening night…I would just prefer not to..

And now for the Top however-many-reasons-I-can-come-up-with-at-the-top-of-my-head Reasons Why Scre4m should NOT be made:

1. Sidney’s story is told.  Her mother’s indiscretions have been settled. Paid for. Kaput. Donezo. They can no longer base…no…JUSTIFY…a third sequel based around Sidney’s story or mother.

2. Loomis and his mom are dead, and so is Roman. Everyone involved in that entire “bloodbath that has rocked the nation” are a bunch of GONERS. Can Sid possibly have MORE people that hate / want her dead? Let’s keep a sense of realism to this, folks!

3. A direct-to-dvd sequel will not do it justice, and it will debase the series to the likes of Wrong Turn 2, Cruel Intentions 2 (and 3, ugh), and any other series that was raped for its title alone. Scream is too important in the genre of horror/slasher to be treated with such disrespect.

4. …Because it simply wouldn’t be right without Neve, Courtney and David. However, like I said, if one of their characters dies, so will I. Hypothetically, metaphorically, and in any other way that is fake and exaggerated. See also: Point 1.

4. We’re doing a Top 4. Because that’s all I got right now, yo’.

And this probably won’t the last of me lamenting about the possible Scre4m movie…let’s hope those Weinstein bastards come to their senses.