hate hate hatery.

so i don’t know if you knooooow, but heath ledger died on tuesday.
i posted about it, and for some reason, felt really really terrible about what i’d said, and had a resultant hideous attack of conscience on the subway home. then, when i couldn’t get online (as kelly and i steal our internet from our all-together too trusting/european neighbors), i geeked out and WILLED my limited or no connectivity into self-correction. and i was able to change my questionable headline (heath ledger generally disheveled and unkempt in heaven), to a more acceptable one (sadness). but i refrained from deleting it all together.
because you know what? heath ledger’s death is a fucking tragedy. he was ridiculously young and talented and full of potential, and he had a little baby girl. the fact that he was an oscar-nominated actor doesn’t really play into the equation. neither does the fact that he was fucking beautiful.
what THOSE facts do, is lead people to question WHAT will happen to batman, and PRAY that the joker’s storyline wrapped with the dark knight. will christian bale decide that he loved working with heath ledger too much to possibly go on without him behind the scenes? will they have to plug someone appropriately, accidentally terrifying (read: jack nicholson) in to take his place to save on cosmetics costs? just how freaking adorable IS michael caine? (answer: very. and increasingly. and i wish i had a cockney accent).
so i was initially joking about people’s curiosity about the 2008 summer blockbuster, but quickly realized that no, i’m definitely not joking. absolutely everyone who knew that ledger was playing the joker immediately thought about it. and then felt terrible about thinking about it.
i’ve realized that everyone thinks in at least two layers. there’s the initial thought, and then there’s the internal reaction to it.
it goes a little something like this:
1 man! that’s sad! little girl! michelle’s controversial 2007 yellow oscar dress (loved it)!
2 ohmygodhavetheyfinishedfilming?!
3 you. asshole. stop it! he died! have a little compassion! butseriouslyhavethey?
but i’m confident that while i’m probably in the fast lane to hell, it’s probably not for this. though these people are certainly going.
and check THIS out:

this is more serious than serious, dudes. these insane, judgmental, hideous fanatics are serious.www.godhatesfags.com?! look at the HATE here. it’s almost impressive.and the logo? it’s BRILLIANT! if it were ironic, or the logo for some kinky fetishists, i’d be thrilled. but i’m not sure whether to laugh out loud at their ignorance, or just file this away as an attachment on my “people to stretch to death” list and look further into it later. i’m perplexed.

[sidenote: whyyyyyy, while we’re hating, are we using a little red-headed boy as our picketing, fag-hating spokesman? there’s no way this church is ginger-tolerant!]

but as my internal debate rages, i’ll probably just drop them an email. and you should too!
tell them that god hates stupid people.

so i was in virgin this morning, doing a bit of picking up, overthinking, and eventually putting back in the wrong place, when i stumbled across brokeback for $10. in all fairness to la megastore, i’m pretty sure that it was on sale when i was there on tuesday morning, too, (what? it’s part of my JOB), so they weren’t pulling a best buy. but i didn’t consider buying it on tuesday morning. today, i picked it up. i mean, i put it back down again on top of sixteen candles (also on sale! molly ringwald, you absolute DELIGHT!)

it’s not that i didn’t like brokeback mountain. it was kind of impossible not to. (unless, of course, you’re one of god’s chosen westboro baptists.) the story was gorgeous, the performances were brilliant, and ang lee also directed spiderman, so COME ON.
but my problem with brokeback is a fundamental one, and it’s the same problem that i have with crash.
these are touchy, controversial films. are they both incredible? yes. did they deserve the recognition they both received? absolutely. is brendan fraser’s hair incredible ridiculous incredibly ridiculous? always. do i love hot gays as much as the next gal? um. more.
BUT. but but but. these films are EASY. people who have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about “love” these films simply because they know they SHOULD. and to NOT love them and splash that love all over their [insert respective social network here] profile, would be INTOLERANT. there’s no room for real discussion of these films, because the second i say someone says something against brokeback, ie: i really didn’t need to see anne hathaway’s tits, it’s a bit slooooow in parts, (dumb) people will jump to call me that person homophobic.
i’m talking general public here, like a girl i know who HATE HATE HATES george w. bush simply because she fancies herself a liberal because it sounds hip. and yet, when you ask her, for the sake of discussion, WHY she hates him, she GETS SO ANGRY SHE CAN’T EVEN ANSWER YOU! THAT is how much she HATES HIM.
wow. what a delightfully lovely cop out. lady up.
so that’s my issue. these movies, though undeniably great, don’t prompt discussion. they inadvertently encourage silence, which is the complete opposite of what they’re meant to do.
i bought boogie nights instead.

reading this over, i take everything back. my problem is CLEARLY with EVERYONE.
and my second guessery = spending twice as much. because now i’ll buy brokeback. and there’s no way i’m trading in boogie nights. because, once again, come onnnnnnnnn:

marshmallow hearts and coconut dreams forever, PSH.


2 Responses to “hate hate hatery.”


    I’ve recently perused through your little black website and I realized that I should become involved. Treat the rest of this letter like it’s an audition tape. (It’s important to know that I wrote everything that follows this paragraph, before I wrote this paragraph. This whole idea is an afterthought.)

    Am I the only one who’s adapted Heath Ledger as my new constant punch-line?

    1.) Person A: Hey, you guys see that new movie?
    Me: You mean the one where Heath Ledger dies?

    2.) Person A: I had a really shitty day today, I think I’m going to go to sleep.
    Me: Now you know how Heath Ledger felt.

    (Before I go on, the answer is no, I am not the only one [and I became aware of this fact by searching my favorite new phrase: “heath ledger heroin dead”] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tag/heath-ledger-heroin)

    I was proud of him for some reason when I first saw, and was forever changed by, the Dark Knight trailer. I have no stock in Mr. Ledger whatsoever, but I always never thought bad thoughts about him. But seriously, he’s dead. And they called Mary-Kate Olson for help.

    Now for a true story. I was working at a video store when I found out. And when I found out, via text message from an inside source, it had not yet been posted on any news sites. NOT BRAGGING. My coworker IMMEDIATELY said what I was thinking: “Dark Knight is going to be so intense now.”

    My point is, it came at a perfect time in our work day. The place was dead, 3 people were working and we needed something to do. So we set up a Heath Ledger section. It had 9 movies in it. I’ve seen 2 of them.

    WHy sO SerIOuS!!?!!


  2. […] also accepting Smithington Corruthers as a contributing writer.  He’ll come and introduce himself when we get him set up.  […]

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