The Phantom Breakfast

Every morning I get to the parking garage. “Another day in the bump and grind,” I say to myself. After putting the brake on, and trying to remember my computer, phone, keys, lunch, movies, cds, etc…I get out of my car, and smell the most DELICIOUS breakfast I have EVER smelled.

The first few times, it was glorious! I’d think about breakfasts past, and really savor the feeling of a wonderful meal when all I had that morning was a Special K bar, or two frozen waffles. Homefries, eggs, bacon, I can smell it all and it smells delicious.

Lately, upon getting out of my car, I’ve been starting to get mad. Where is it coming from??? Why can’t I buy this breakfast and take it to work with me? Is it a restaurant? Diner? Surely DnD doesn’t smell this good!

Is it an apartment building? A local tenant? Black Bear Saloon?

I don’t think I’ll ever know where the amazing breakfast smell is coming from. Part of me is sad. I wish I could taste it, especially when I’m so grumpy in the morning. I’d probably be a better worker with a mouthful of ketchup-y hash browns and delicious pancakes with sausage. But the other part of me is just fucking pissed. Cuz seriously….WHERE is it coming from and WHY can’t I have it.

People should keep their breakfast smells to themselves, because really all it causes is heartbreak.

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