The worst song ever written in music history. According to me.

We know what you’re thinking. Right Said Fred – “I’m Too Sexy”? Meat Loaf – “I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)”?

Or maybe those are too good to be the worst song. Maybe a few other cuts like Color Me Badd’s “I Wanna Sex You Up” or any Ricky Martin tune (it really doesn’t matter which one).

Many “Worst Song” lists come to this conclusion: “We Built This City” by Starship. You know it. They “built this city on rock and roll…” You know, that song that isn’t Journey. Even though “We Built This City” is excruciatingly painful, I have another song to throw out there to the blogging Gods.

The worst song ever written in music history ever, is “Gasonlina” by Daddy Yankee.

First off, I’m convinced that Reggaeton is a music form sent to earth by Satan himself. It’s not quite rap, its far from reggae, and it’s ever-so-annoying and ear piercing. Simply thinking about it gives me the chills. If there is a God, why would he allow Satan to punish us with such terrible music?

Secondly, I don’t speak Spanish so well, so I haven’t been able to figure out why anyone would want more gasoline. I mean, OK: You’re at a party, you’re drunk, you’re doing some freaky grinding dance with some hot latina. Then you think: “Man, if only I had some more gasoline!” Someone needs to help me make sense of this song that makes none of it. Actually, nevermind, I don’t care.

Which brings me to la punta numero tres: The music itself is just irritating as all hell. SEE! Hell. Satan. DAMN HIM! I hate you, Satan. I do.

And you too, Daddy Yankee. You too.

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