Ridiculousness: Chuck Norris Vs. Mr. T: 400 Facts About the Baddest Dudes in the History of Ever


So check this shit out:

In November 2007, Gotham Books unleashed The Truth about Chuck Norris upon the world and changed publishing forever. Containing 400 farcical facts about pop culture icon Chuck Norris, the book burned through thirteen printings, roundhouse kicked the New York Times bestseller list, and left readers delighted (and a little bit terrified)….

Now Ian Spector has returned to his voluminous vault to bring readers 200 new Chuck Norris facts alongside 200 facts about his longtime antagonist Mr. T, in a battle that pits foot against fist, beard against mohawk, and Delta Force against A-Team. Included in this fearsome tome are such startling observations as:

• There is nothing to fear but fear itself, and fear itself fears Chuck Norris.
• King Kong once challenged Godzilla to an arm-wrestling match. Mr. T won.
• The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
• The last man to make eye contact with Mr. T was Stevie Wonder.
• Chuck Norris is a man’s man’s man.
• Mr. T once beat a man to death with his own corpse.

Wow. Sign me up.  Someone buy me this. Immediately.

Thanks to Curtis for the tip.

15 Responses to “Ridiculousness: Chuck Norris Vs. Mr. T: 400 Facts About the Baddest Dudes in the History of Ever”

  1. chuck Norris once thought he made a mistake, he was wrong!!!

  2. Robert Mann Says:

    Chuck Norris KNOWS Victorias Secret!

  3. when god gives you lemons, you make lemon aid. when chuck norris gives you lemons its in a 240 mph fast ball to the face.

  4. the cool aid man busted through mr t wall once, lets just say there was no ooooooooo yaaaa.

  5. the last time chuck norris worked up a sweat the end product was the ocen, well we call it the ocen chuck called it a good work out.

  6. fact, chuck norris dose not have to brush his teeth they saty clean out of fear.

  7. the last time chuck norris donated spurm they gave a magazine of gun’s weekly and a adamantium cup.

  8. mazi akuma Says:

    jesus christ can walk on water chuck norris can swim on land

  9. AcidTRAKX Says:

    When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, he tears a hole in the fabric of space and time, which sucks you into a parallel universe of Chuck Norrises all waiting to roundhouse kick you.

  10. Some AWESOME Mr. T facts:

    Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth crapped itself and created Scotland.

    Mr. T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact time Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Mr. T in the face. The result was Michael Jackson.

    The last time Mr. T went to McDonald’s, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What happened next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.

    Chuck Norris once challenged Mr. T to an arm wrestling match. That was 3,000 years ago, and there’s still no winner.

  11. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

    If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

    The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

    There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

  12. mr T is not black, the sun is just scared to shine on him

  13. i like singing
    i like dancing
    i like trains neiawwwwwwwwwwwww

  14. most people check their closet for the boogeyman. the boogeyman checks his closet for chuck norris

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